


Brotherly Shenanigans

by UndertaleThingem



Series: Papyrus Bingo Prompts [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Post-Canon, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:27:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24704563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UndertaleThingem/pseuds/UndertaleThingem
Summary: It's time for some good clean fun.
Relationships: Papyrus & Sans (Undertale)
Series: Papyrus Bingo Prompts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1786012
Comments: 24
Kudos: 230





	Brotherly Shenanigans

**Author's Note:**

> This prompt was requested by superkirbylover, dragonflyxem, crysta-cub, rainbowut, rofa1309, kittenmittenyt, and four anonymous users on tumblr! It's taken me a while to think of something, but then I saw a photo of a terrible thrift store find, and knew i had the answer... so this story is also thanks to the shiftythrifting tumblr and their endless supply of absolutely tasteless and unfathomable items. Enjoy!

Papyrus stood back, admiring his work. The living room was spotless, and it had only taken until the early afternoon. But it was done! He could wash his hands of the whole affair--literally. He entered the bathroom, reached for the faucet--and paused.

There was a new soap dispenser. And it was shaped like a bottle of ketchup.

"SANS!" Papyrus yelled.

"yeah bro?" he replied, calling from his room.

"Why is there a ketchup-shaped soap dispenser in our bathroom?!"

"thought it'd spruce the place up," Sans answered, suddenly at the door. "found it when tori invited me to go thrift shopping with her and frisk. you know i'm always a fan of looking at cheap junk. good stuff."

"And you just had to buy this?"

"i mean, look at it. it's got 'sans' written all over it."

Papyrus hazarded a glance--it did not, in fact, literally have his name written on it. He'd made that joke before.

"Hmm... it's cheaply made, a little dirty, absolutely tasteless... I can't see how it's like you at all! I've definitely had to hoist you out of a garbage heap more than once though, so you have that much in common."

"oh yeah. i couldn't leave it behind. so that's the deal with that."

"I see. Well, thank you for the... thoughtful decor, brother."

"hey, i try."

Papyrus eyed him as he left, then turned back to the sink to wash his hands in peace. He turned the water on, rinsed his gloves, then pumped the soap dispenser.

It dispensed ketchup.

Papyrus stared in horror.

"SAAAANS!"

"yes bro?" Sans reappeared at the door.

Papyrus shoved his ketchup-stained gloves to his face. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!"

"you saw it was labeled ketchup right?"

"IT'S A SOAP DISPENSER! NOT! A KETCHUP DISPENSER!"

"yeah, that's why i put it in the bathroom. but it's labeled ketchup."

Papyrus groaned, clapping his hands to his face before realizing what he'd done.

"wow bro, you're looking red in the--"

"Don't you dare!" Papyrus interrupted, jabbing a finger at him. "I will not stand for this! Get this thing out of here! I hereby banish all condiments from the bathroom indefinitely!"

"oh dang. there goes my plans for eating hot dogs in the shower."

"That!! Is so gross!!! How are we related??!" Papyrus cried, balling his fists. He grabbed the offending dispenser and shoved it at his brother. "Take it from my sight! I better not see it here again!"

"ok, ok, i gotcha. i'll find a good spot for it."

Papyrus groaned again as he left, and set about actually cleaning up for real this time. He found soap that wasn't ketchup, and got most of the offending substance out--though he could still smell it. Ugh. Well, he'd shower later. He had things to do.

As he set about making dinner that evening, he saw the dispenser again, set atop the high sink.

"Sans!"

"yes bro?"

"I told you to get rid of that thing!"

"i thought you said it just couldn't be in the bathroom. so now, it's in the kitchen. that's where condiments belong, right?"

Papyrus drew a long-suffering sigh. "I suppose. But, I'm not using it."

"why not? it's got soap in it now."

Papyrus whirled on him. "You--!"

"what? it's a soap dispenser, isn't it?"

Papyrus shoved his brother out of the room with a roar. "OUT! Out with you!"

Sans was chuckling all the while, but complied, heading for his usual spot on the couch. Papyrus watched him go, then stomped back to what he'd been trying to do. He glared at the dispenser. No, he had to be sure. He went to the sink, and gave it an experimental push.

A glob of soap dripped out.

He groaned under his breath, and went back to preparing dinner. At least this was how his brother amused himself, and not something worse. But there were a lot of other ways that didn't involve bothering him exclusively, and were therefore better. What he put up with sometimes...

The dispenser stayed in the kitchen from then on, and at least Sans was using it--he'd clip up to perch on the rim of the tall sink, and scrub his hands dutifully before coming to eat. Papyrus still used his own, far more reasonable soap, but he was glad his brother still found the ketchup-soap horror amusing. Well, the gag was up with it anyway; if sans wanted to play that trick again he'd have to find some other unfortunate friend of theirs.

No, Papyrus wouldn't be taken for a fool so easily, and certainly not by his own brother! Just to prove it, he would use that awful dispenser one last time. He waited until after Sans had gone to bed that day, double-checked he wasn't actually sneaking around to witness this moment--all clear. Papyrus was going to do a little midnight baking, and he needed to make sure his hands were clean. How convenient then, that they had not one, but two soap options! Today, he would take the option less taken, and reached for the ketchup-shaped one.

Ketchup dribbled into his hand.

Somehow, he held back a scream as it soaked into his gloves. Oh no, this could not go unpunished. It was time for revenge. He scrubbed the ketchup off furiously, scheming. He had to get Sans back for this, and preferably, using the very instrument he'd wreaked havoc with. Perhaps... oh, that would be perfect. He just had to set it in motion.

"Good morning, brother!" Papyrus said brightly when Sans finally got up. "Actually, since it's closer to noon, I went ahead and made lunch!"

Sans rubbed at his eyes as he sat at the table, not quite awake. "mm... smells like burgers? i thought you hated 'em."

"Well, I've made things I don't like to eat before. The spaghetti comes to mind," Papyrus replied. "I figured I'd mix it up! Unfortunately for you, we're out of ketchup. I can't imagine where it's all gone."

"we just can't keep that stuff in the house," sans replied, shaking his head. "well, i'm sure it'll be fine. let's see how ya did."

Papyrus handed the plate of hamburgers to his brother, and waited eagerly as Sans took a look, then bit in.

"eh, not bad," he pronounced, and Papyrus beamed. He'd been working really hard on his cooking skills ever since they'd come to the surface, and far less people made indescribable expressions when they tried his food now.

"I'm glad to hear that brother! Grillby better look out, he's got competition!"

"i wouldn't go that far," Sans teased, "but it's definitely a good effort bro. but, they do need ketchup."

"I told you Sans, we're out."

"I got a secret stash," Sans replied with a wink. He clipped up to the sink, burger in hand, and Papyrus had to try very hard to contain himself. Sans peeled the top bun off, and held his burger under the dispenser. He pressed on it with his other hand.

It was soap.

Sans stared.

For a solid second, the room was dead silent... and then Papyrus couldn't hold it in any longer.

"HAH! Japed by none other than me, the great Papyrus! How's it feel, dear brother?! Nyeh heh heh heh heh!"

Sans snickered, shaking his head. "oh man, i shoulda seen this coming. good one bro, you really got me."

"You bet! Sorry about your hamburger though. It was a necessary sacrifice."

Sans eyed the soaped-up sandwich, and sighed. Soap--monster-made or not--wasn't edible. "you did what you had to do. i've been totally bamboozled."

"Indeed! Lucky for you, I made extra, and, we're not actually out of ketchup. That was all part of my brilliant scheme."

"well, i really fell for it," Sans said, coming back to the table minus one burger.

"Never forget you're not the only one who can pull an expert shenanigan, Sans. And now that that's all over with, I am banishing the ketchup-soap disaster from this house."

"aw man. eh, i'll give it to tori. she loves goofy knickknacks."

"Don't inflict ketchup on her."

"oh, i definitely will."

Papyrus groaned, finally joining his brother at the table with a bowl of oatmeal for himself. "Maybe she'll banish it too. It'll be forbidden soap."

"i can live with that."

"As long as I don't have to."


End file.
